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You can’t stop thinking!

The most beautiful aspect of human life that makes us special can be the reason for mental health issues for many is depressing. In a day, unimaginable and bizarre thoughts come into our mind out of nowhere. You been working fine and suddenly a flash of some unhappy event flashes and hijacks you to plumb in a hopeless attempt to land on some conclusion. But you fail miserably, and the feeling it engenders drives you crazy. Sometimes you react and yell at people you love and care, which later makes you feel so sorry. While sometimes you swallow the bitter inexplicit conclusion you drew which leads to repressed anger and frustration. This overlong repression transforms into a suppressed rage awaiting a trigger to explode, which is detrimental and must be avoided on all accounts. But how? It’s simple  — all you need to practice emotional self – awareness and playing a con artist to yourself.

In my previous article on “ The power of now “, it was clear that one can’t shun the cascade of thoughts inundating us completely and to our chagrin, we sarcastically welcome them warm-heartedly. Anyway, you can still welcome them, but you must count on time and have a check on the feeling it incites. Let the thought comes in and let it go, don’t hold on to it. If it’s good, savour it for a while then move on in contrary if it is unhealthy or in other words making you anxious — shake your head, tune in to your best music playlist and leave the place, grab your favourite candy or whatever it is.  See there is nothing you can do, you will never come to any conclusion so make peace with yourself; there is no one to blame for so accept what it is. It doesn’t exist anymore in your conscious experience; it’s gone, in one of the best psychological books — Emotional Intelligence. The author and psychologist Daniel Goleman states — “any emotion can be — and often is — unconscious. Sometimes we tend to develop definite likings for things we do not even realize we saw it before. The physiological beginnings of emotion typically occur before a person is consciously aware of the feeling itself. Emotions that simmers beneath the threshold of awareness can have a powerful impact on how we perceive and react, even though we have no idea they are at work.”

So here is the rub, you been stuck in your subconsciousness. You already grieved the moment everything ended for you or else, and you were aware. But you are continuing your suffering, and unconsciously your mind is working overtime to find the reason for this emotional and rational dichotomy. Your subconscious thoughts will never vanish instantly. You have to replace your moments of awareness with something that makes you feel good and build up slowly and calmly until the activity enervates you. An excerpt from the book corroborates this practice – “It is not that people need to avoid unpleasant feelings to feel content, but rather that stormy feelings did not go unchecked, displacing all pleasant moods. People who have strong episodes of anger or depression can still feel a sense of well – being if they have a countervailing set of equally joyous or happy times.” But you have to step up and push your limits. Believe me, once you put your best foot forward, there is no stopping.

(The views are personal and don’t validate any claims. If you are battling any mental health issues speak up to your family and friends and consult a doctor)

Amit…

You (Amit Kumar Singh) will always remain in the realm of my imagination, knitting around the fabrics of my echo space. You never gone, and will never leave this vast wilderness (universe). You left this material world, but your energy is around. You perished your mass in pursuit of chasing the speed of light to feel the preternatural sense of time in seconds for a typical human day. However, I am happy that you escaped the world of pain and suffering, which you never realised. And, I firmly believe you had superhuman capabilities. Though you knew you wouldn’t stay here for so long. The way you played in your ephemeral existence is inspirational when many weep on trivial issues shrugging off the fact that they are at least respiring healthily. 

I feel blessed that I had the privilege of being your roommate for four memorable years and almost a decade long friendship. You never took life damn serious and always believed in now as this very moment a gift so stop criticising for what you don’t have, and I admire this spirit. You had a rare heart problem, but you had a big and generous heart which is uncommon in this illusionary world of deceit. There is nothing permanent in this world, and our existence is so fragile, a sudden boom and gone. We are merely a speck of dust in this infinity. You never had luxury of time to live it so badly.

With you now gone, my determination to achieve what I dreamt of and that what I shared with you is getting stronger. And, your energy will propel me to do so. I remember when the world stood against me, you were there by my side standing shoulder to shoulder, trusting and, encouraging me.

Now, I will rest my words lest my throat gets sore and the heaviness of my emotions blur everything around. You were never gone, my dear friend…

(The author’s one of his best friends and a roommate unnaturally left this world on 15th January 2019, had he been alive he would have celebrated his birthday on 13th September)

The sagacity of creative writers

All creative thinkers and writers embody a split personality. But in no way do they portray a false persona. The closer one gets to them more astonishing they appear. At times they get bombastic in depicting the duplicity of this world. But who are they? Fascinating, aren’t they? These creatures create a facade to indulge with worldly desires, sometimes up to the level of amalgamation. But they never lose their mind and always know what, why, when, and how? And, slyly sneaks amid all the commotions, to enjoy the date with self. They seek inspiration in doing to understand the vagaries of human life by injecting themselves as a test specimen.

In whichever way you leave them, you may always expect the best out of them. Even in plucky moments, their engraved feelings carved out in anger and frustration may seem beautiful. Or their splendid narration of a love story maybe just a figment of their imagination. A writer lives in his world of metaphors and remains secluded only to infuse every corner with his thoughts. And at the end, after playing the other side of his character while savouring every moment of life. He finds himself in the reflection of his thoughts. A writer never dies, nor he lives alone, he leaves behind his imagination in an illusionary world.

Someone

I wish someone to understand me well,
As I am the person, you didn’t know that well……

Don’t take me wrong from the thoughts that misplaced,
I can only convince through my eyes that glazed…..

You may dumbfound to know about this matter and the fact,
But that’s what I felt while dreaming about you in zest…..

Forgive me for my acts when I go insane,
Trust me; I only try to make you feel happy and go peppy down the lane…..

It rejuvenates my soul while being with you,
And expects nothing but yells just wanna be with you…..

It seems plausible when you are high in zeal,
Overpowering the darkness engulfing my dreams…..

Though it’s tough for you to back my insight,
Still, I assure you taking safe whenever you are in tide…..

I wish someone once………..

तू ही तो है …

आज अगर दिल टूटा,
कल इसे जोड़ता हूँ।


तू मेरा बंदा है,
तुझे मैं तराशता हूँ।


तू वो नायाब हीरा ,
जिसे मैं अपने सर पे सजाता हूँ।


तेरे मन मंदिर से पाक होकर,
कतरा – कतरा विष का तुझे रोज़ पिलाता हूँ।


भूल मत तेरी हर भावनाओं में,
मैं ही तो समाता हूँ।


रात का भटका, सुबह तेरे ध्यान में,
मस्त – मलंग मैं ही तो आता हूँ।


इस मायाजाल में उलझ कर, तुझे फिर,
सही मार्ग मैं ही तो दिखाता हूँ।


जिस पल तू समझा अब अंत,
उस पल का कायाकल्प हर बार करता हूँ।


तेरे आंशुओं की ज्वाला में,
मैं भी तो जलता हूँ।


क्यूँकि इस काल के आरम्भ से अनंत तक,
तेरा प्रारब्ध मैं ही तो हूँ।


जिस जग को ना भाया तू ,
उस जग को मैं ही तो बनाया हूँ।


तो इस जग के ताप का पश्चाताप क्यूँ करे तू,
जिसे मैं भस्म कर रोज़ लगाता हूँ।।।।

Rain over me…

Few drops of rain stimulate some unusual sense of calmness. The eyes soaked in god-knows feelings on numerous monsoons, but this was magical. It was a hot and humid afternoon. And under the topsy-turvy ride of thought process, the weather never seemed soothing. The day was passive, and I gradually fell listless until I served myself an evening-tea. In my indolence, I sat in the balcony and with the last sip of luscious cranberry apple tea. The weather indeed decided to fill my heart with utter serenity amid thunderstorms. Nature, at times, appears to be ruthless, but the dawn of a new beginning usually celebrated on callous culminated nights. 

In a matter of minutes, the city’s hustle-bustle vanished in the downpour. All the creatures took shelter in their safe-haven and sat on vantage to savour the moment of bliss. And as soon as the shower splashed my face, the sparkling smile under the magnificent lightning rejuvenated the languished soul. Nature appeared to be complimenting it with flashes. The dribbling droplets down the body, reinvigorated the mood. And made me realize, however, worst the situation, nature has all the power to heal any wound. We can only appreciate the light if we see the darkness. Thus hold on to all the moments of pain and pleasure since nothing lasts forever.

KARMA को पकड़ के क्या रोना…

रोना-धोना, सोना-खोना

ये दिल नहीं है कोई खिलौना,

इसे परेशान मत करना |

~

तू आज में जीना,

दुनिया की छोड़ न,

पर एक बात बताना ?

~

क्या ये वही है न ?

जो तुझे है पाना, 

सोच ले ! इस रिश्ते को है निभाना,

फिर ना बहाने बनाना…

~

अगर नहीं।तो भूलना,

सोचना… दिल में झाँकना |

मन की मान न…

~

अपने रास्ते खुद बनाना,

जग की क्यूँ सुनना ?

अपनी धुन में रहना,

गिरना, उठना, संभलना,

पर कर्मा को पकड़ के मत रोना…।

Sameer

Just go with the flow!

When you go sail on your will and instincts, all the dark energy awakens and make you realize at every moment, being realistic is more important than to dream. That said, you start doubting yourself and may detour. But believe me, just ask yourself and go with the flow. However, something which sounds obnoxious in the first place and doesn’t incite that gut feeling must be taken care of. But unleash yourself, walk through the lightest and darkest alleys, trust your instincts. Maybe the world will never accept you, or you may go wrong, but every time you lose yourself, you will find a home in your heart. 

It’s hard to believe for people that how you can be so right while being nurtured in a malicious, lusty, and materialistic world of short term pleasures. But remain what you are; people will rob your emotions, test your patience, and think whatnot. You should never stop believing in yourself and try to accommodate. If their heart has been tarnished and rubbed under the illusionary world of desires must not hold true for you. That, however, doesn’t mean you were untouched by the ethos of this world of showbiz. The world tried to steal a part of you, but every time you smacked on their face knowingly or unknowingly. Your soul has always been taken care of. As your desire for metaphysical expansion was so high that all the negative energy imbued in nothingness. 

Crumble & Crawl

Crumble & crawl 
Or in a brawl
Curse me for the sins, you think
Took a toll


Dark & gloomy
Alleys never bloomy
You think it's a sham
I call it double whammy


Wax & wane
Pain insane
Love to sustain 
The fire, in bloody vein...(SRS)

These natural forces…

These natural forces will strip you down to your soul and make you realise how vulnerable you are even though it may leave you unpunished but will you remain untouched and unharmed from the nasty and creepy thoughts you sow in your subconscious mind….?

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