Author: Sameer Raj (Page 1 of 3)

I am professionally a Mechanical Engineer working in the R&D department for some multinational company. However, in my free times, I am an avid reader and creative writer.

Stumbling upon ZERO!

Life shouldn’t be a zero-sum game, but how do we make sure it wouldn’t? Sometimes we stumble upon a big zero dwindling either side of an infinite axis aka experience. We will never realize on which side we might land but we may always choose to be optimistic. However, the moot is, our experience is so dynamic that we never realize that the goal post had already been shifted forcing us to recalibrate our vision. Taking control of the circumstances that lead up to change is far-fetched. Instead, we can make our experiences richer by simply not stumbling upon a zero rather embracing the things with open eyes per se senses.

Undoubtedly, 2021 was very painful for most of us. It etched some deep wound that is hard to heal. Even though we weathered the storm gallantly but it took the most from us; be it physical or mental. The almost gone year taught us very tough lessons from bizarre experiences which cornered us vehemently. It relentlessly made us aware of our deepest fear leaving us in mental agony with our futile efforts to get life back on track. To some it went far in smashing ruthlessly with the biggest truth of life; that it goes on, no matter what. So either you accept it wholeheartedly or get bogged down. I personally came across a situation that made me realize that sometimes giving up a good fight is not losing. It’s a naive effort of our soul to move on and open up to daunting or never done before activities to find peace and joy.

Now, when I retrospect on how few situations transpired in such a manner and how I could have handled it differently, my own limitations or hardwired beliefs surfaced. I randomly picked up “The Great Mental Models Volume 1: General Thinking Concepts” by Shane Parrish and it indeed refined my understanding. The book broadly talks about Occam’s razor principle which states that “a simpler explanation or solution to the problem is more likely to be correct than a complicated one.” However, on mulling over the facts, I found the simpler solution although the correct one but it’s tough to act. And then the principle of acceptance comes in when you have to just live the moment irrespective of the outcome. 

No one had ever left you behind

At some point in time, you will finally realize that no one had ever left you; rather, you astray in an unchartered zone or foolishly stepped into a fiery pyre. The huge void that often reverberates on the expanse of solitude posses both the characteristics of virtues and vices. After coming thus far in despair, the silence may feel assuaging. The ebb of niggling thoughts finally dies over the sea of time and space. And it will give you a new lease on life. The scientific notion that space and time are intertwined as a fabric is astonishingly applicable to our metaphysical world. When I have space to grow, I will have time to think about bestowing life with its true purpose of attaining higher consciousness. It is in those hours of pulsating emotions when an opportunity from the divine to elevate strikes through a shabby soul. When nothing is working, nothing is working indeed. So hold on, take a breath, and close your eyes to paint the situation onto the broader canvas of life. And in the process, color all your emotions and pass them through a narrow slit to witness an emerging white light unfolding new dawn into your life.

Piecing together a ripped soul entangled in an emotional juggle is excruciatingly painful. The unweathered marks from unhealed wounds persist for you to realize how far you have come in the pursuit whenever you think of giving up. We often undermine the importance of morning rituals due to our latitude or whatever reason, whereas it plays a vital role in our positive mental conditioning. You have to make a choice once and have to manage it daily with self-discipline. In the end, it will be worth remembering all these struggles as a testament of the human will to rise above every time whenever cornered.

Chasing light…

I close my eyes
To see the light
In the darkest night

That’s not alright
Losing my sight
Falling inside

You catch me in a flight
And hold me tight
Try escape the plight

I have no might
To walk right
So leave me in a tide

Sailing through the highs
I can see the shore burning bright
Or it’s a fire inside 

Which ignites
To chase the light
However far it invites ...


Invoking inner voices

Writing therapy

How you feeling today ? 

Happy and in balance of emotions 

Good, how you measure happiness ? 

Well there is no anxiety, living every moment yeah

So you must be feeling satisfied now?


OK, do you feel the same way everyday?

(well now the unnerving question starts, digging deep)

Mmm, ummm, not everyday

So what you feel on those days?

Displeasure and dissatisfaction

But why, aren’t you happy with what you accomplished ?

I am happy

OK, if your happiness doesn’t hang on your materialistic achievements then you must be feeling satisfied, aren’t you?

Yes, but I want more 

So basically you set some goals in your mind and a feeling of its achievement makes you restless, right?

yes, yes ….

Well, growth and expansion is a natural process, it will come naturally if you focus on the task in hand.

Mmmm right, I know 

If you know then you are in gross negligence.

What, no!….really?

Yes, my friend, you are, sad but true, you have to remind yourself every day that you have this very moment where you have to live it at your best so be whatever task you are doing, immerse yourself, find that state of flow.

Anyway, suppose you have everything now that you dreamt of, how sure you will be completely happy and satisfied then?

Mmmm, tricky actually 

But why ? that should be the easiest one since this is what you were longing for. 

(Long silence…thinking in void) 

Let me phrase it for you, deep inside your heart you know the whole idea of amassing wealth is a hoax, you can be happy in nothing while can’t be happy with everything.

I believe yes, the time which is prevailing around the world is the best example where I have everything on which I can binge on but it sucks. I want to go around and visit the park in my neighborhood which I never did, I want to see life in reality as I am done with this virtual world. I want to walk barefoot on grass, feed animals rather than liking and commenting on posts. The pleasure of life lies in doing simple yet fundamental things of daily living. You should be having all the luxuries of life however, in the end, nothing will help your ailing mind and body to recuperate and finally, everything will boil down to your healthy and simple compassionate living with nature.

Sojourn III

I see treacherous mountain peaks gradually rising above zenith, to my left. I have covered some good distance wandering in the low-lying region surrounded by exquisite flora and fauna. In the journey, I was tested to survive with each breath. In contrast, some of my engendered fear born out of trepidation drove me to some places which were even more daunting to cross. It seems tempting to explore at times, but often the cost of going against our instinct is severe and irreparable.

Finally, I pull myself and carried my gears to embark on a new journey into the mountains. I stumbled upon the rock with my first foot forward and looked back to see the deep void I left. I thank my guiding star for being my constant companion though very distant. But I feel merely the presence of something or someone significant energizes us to overcome any untoward events, even it’s you who have to face it. I kept walking and thinking about the past when I realized that I am just encircling the place. I already left the turn behind, as what my navigation says. Dangling in the past has lead to emotional hijacking, thus causing aberration. One has to be cognizant of the nature of their thoughts lest they may not become contagious.

The sun will set in a couple of hours as I can fixate my gaze to see the astonishing reddish sunny halo. I aim to cover as much distance so that I have enough time to fix my shelter before the night falls. Since the way is gradually turning uphill and narrower. So I think to rest at some decent spot during the night and start early the next day. But if that is the case, I would have rested on the bank as I haven’t covered much distance from there. I think I made the wrong choice, but I can’t detour either, so let’s make a course correction. The more I think about more insecurity broods. Your thoughts have a powerful influence on your psyche. It lets you believe which doesn’t even exist and creates a surrounding for the manifestation of such nasty thoughts. There is nothing wrong or right; it’s all about perception. However, thinking about all the aspects before making any decision is important. If you believe in yourself, then you will be able to control the outcome at any moment. 

Sojourn II

I lost sense of time as if I was sleeping for eternity, and then I woke up by the sudden rush of water splashing my face. I gulp a large share of air to coalesce with this magnificent surrounding. I decided to sit for a couple of more hours to replenish my energy reserves. I am contemplating that last night, with impaired vision, things were seemingly dangerous, which often aroused a sense of trepidation. However, the reality is startling different in the light as everything seems adorable now, even though it is taxing. 

Aww! that was an amazing sight to see the fishes playing down the stream and a flock of some wild animals across the river basking in the sun, quenching their thirst, while some trying to cross the stream with many succeeding in an attempt while others waiting in the course for their kins to pull or encourage them to cross. I am surprised to see their ignorance of my presence. Do they feel like I belong to this place or am in complete sync with nature here? With a grin on my face, I saw the youngest one staring at me, and I couldn’t explain how it felt like. But animals are so shy and innocent and protective as he/she slyly turned away alarming the older ones. In a moment, all of them started noticing me. In their eyes, I can see what they are trying to say – let’s don’t trouble each other and peacefully coexist.

I passed almost a day on the rocks pampering myself and savoring the moment. I don’t want to leave this place, but I can’t stay either. Since en route following the river, I am unsure of the destination as to where it may lead. In life, one has to leave behind the things the way it is, as unaccomplished – which eventually makes them very attractive. I started this journey aimlessly and unleashed myself completely under god’s will. But the human mind behaves strangely; it doesn’t want to squander for a long time. It needs an objective to generate a drive to fire itself and work either consciously or unconsciously towards achieving it. 

Sojourn I

I am here in the middle of nowhere for quite a long time. The place is dark and horrible, calm and unnerving. I don’t know what time it is since I lost a couple of things down the journey, including my watch. I am not sure why I am here, what I left, and where I am heading.  Although, I was never scared of walking such places. But when it is finally happening, I feel numbness. It must be the reflection of my thoughts as I always dreamt of going past my previous life. Whether this pilgrimage will bring peace or not don’t know but right now, I am scared. It is so quiet that even I hear the reverberation of my breathing.

With my parched throat, I am desperately expecting a source of water to quench my thirst. I am moving at the edge of the gigantic dense pine forest as I see the moonlight glaring through the trees from my right at every step or two. And as soon as I hit the boulder, what I see is a massive stream at its magical best. It is rightly said when you really want something; the universe conspires for you to reveal it. I am standing on a rocky bank with a clear sky above, and I see the brightest star inside the halo of the sensual crescent moon. The gust of wind brought some fragrance that was bizarre and unfamiliar. If I sat, I am not sure to lift the heaviness of my beaten body again. I am dazed to see the water throbbing under the silver lining. But I chose to move forward not very far from and along the shore quickly after filling up the water bottle, be the star my guide. Beauty deceives many times, so word of the wise is to give a second thought. I wish I would have thought the same for some decisions that I took. Anyway, people learn from the mistakes, which make them human indeed.

I feel no more threatened under this vast wilderness rather I am worried about the profoundness of my thoughts that these rocks, rivers, trees, valleys, mountains can listen. With the sweet melody of morning birds, I see the new dawn inside the valley as I finally sit to welcome the sun. I never knew what the simple pleasure of washing tired feet and lying on the rock feels like. As I fall with my half feet inside the water, all my pains seem washed away. What if the moment freeze leaving out everything and get lost in the world of our ancestors. There are no calls and messages to reply and wait for, no meetings, no presentations, no formalities. It just only me and my solitude. With this thought, I finally sleep to wake up to the reality with a coffee. But the journey now actually begins. 

A modern yogi

Life and death are two faces of the same coin; however, only once in a lifetime death choose us as if it has an agreement with the life that happens every day. Something which we already committed to is life per se. But usually, while going along with life, things get awry, and we turn ignorant. We push ourselves so hard in realizing our fantasies that life in itself oozes for help. We get so attached with the things as if our life hangs on them.

The world will thrive as usual without us; rather, it would be a better place to live. Thus relaxing and practicing sporadic aloofness from the chores is beneficial for healthy living. We are living in a dynamic world, and our existence is fragile. We can’t be so sure about anything where things change in a blink. From the minute we came into this world, we were vying for peace and happiness unconsciously. But it’s hard to find. Because it’s within, and we are looking outwards. In this ordered chaos being a modern yogi could be the savior, the one who knows the art of balancing attachment and detachment at the same time.

image source –

Our existence is precious, and we must utilize our full potential. But ask for yourselves, is that all you were longing for, and is that it? Well, whatever it is, save some time to breathe. However, you will be elated for nominated in the league of so-called intellectuals at the end of the day. But, it doesn’t make any sense unless you did some very simple or, to some people, weirdest thing like thoughtlessly sitting for a minute or consciously reading this article.

Anonymity gives us wings!

In the pandemic era, I only see the eyes, and it too speaks — the soulful language. The good thing about this pandemic would sarcastically be an opportunity to play the favorite childhood game — hide and seek. You may hide your feelings but let someone seek it from your eyes. Naturally, you may find yourself in haywires as to whom to let steal from you.  As all, you see seemingly incomparable beauty around. And thus, the game begins, which will ask you to sail over the bubble of hope with perseverance to meet the true seeker with those gleaming passion.

Sometimes I feel like the masked face reveals the true identity of oneself. You may be what-not or in emotional turmoil. But when you disguise, your arms flail like a wing to fly. How many times have you anonymously complimented someone or someone’s work? It lifts off the heaviness of your heart and shuns all the exaggerated rationality. In some cases, according to the famous book The Lucifer Effect — the conditions that make us feel anonymous when we think that others do not know us or care to can foster antisocial, self-interested behaviors. So what your anonymity unveils?

You can’t stop thinking!

The most beautiful aspect of human life that makes us special can be the reason for mental health issues for many is depressing. In a day, unimaginable and bizarre thoughts come into our mind out of nowhere. You been working fine and suddenly a flash of some unhappy event flashes and hijacks you to plumb in a hopeless attempt to land on some conclusion. But you fail miserably, and the feeling it engenders drives you crazy. Sometimes you react and yell at people you love and care, which later makes you feel so sorry. While sometimes you swallow the bitter inexplicit conclusion you drew which leads to repressed anger and frustration. This overlong repression transforms into a suppressed rage awaiting a trigger to explode, which is detrimental and must be avoided on all accounts. But how? It’s simple  — all you need to practice emotional self – awareness and playing a con artist to yourself.

In my previous article on “ The power of now “, it was clear that one can’t shun the cascade of thoughts inundating us completely and to our chagrin, we sarcastically welcome them warm-heartedly. Anyway, you can still welcome them, but you must count on time and have a check on the feeling it incites. Let the thought comes in and let it go, don’t hold on to it. If it’s good, savour it for a while then move on in contrary if it is unhealthy or in other words making you anxious — shake your head, tune in to your best music playlist and leave the place, grab your favourite candy or whatever it is.  See there is nothing you can do, you will never come to any conclusion so make peace with yourself; there is no one to blame for so accept what it is. It doesn’t exist anymore in your conscious experience; it’s gone, in one of the best psychological books — Emotional Intelligence. The author and psychologist Daniel Goleman states — “any emotion can be — and often is — unconscious. Sometimes we tend to develop definite likings for things we do not even realize we saw it before. The physiological beginnings of emotion typically occur before a person is consciously aware of the feeling itself. Emotions that simmers beneath the threshold of awareness can have a powerful impact on how we perceive and react, even though we have no idea they are at work.”

So here is the rub, you been stuck in your subconsciousness. You already grieved the moment everything ended for you or else, and you were aware. But you are continuing your suffering, and unconsciously your mind is working overtime to find the reason for this emotional and rational dichotomy. Your subconscious thoughts will never vanish instantly. You have to replace your moments of awareness with something that makes you feel good and build up slowly and calmly until the activity enervates you. An excerpt from the book corroborates this practice – “It is not that people need to avoid unpleasant feelings to feel content, but rather that stormy feelings did not go unchecked, displacing all pleasant moods. People who have strong episodes of anger or depression can still feel a sense of well – being if they have a countervailing set of equally joyous or happy times.” But you have to step up and push your limits. Believe me, once you put your best foot forward, there is no stopping.

(The views are personal and don’t validate any claims. If you are battling any mental health issues speak up to your family and friends and consult a doctor)

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